Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
