You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
id be glad to
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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