a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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