If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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