Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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