i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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