Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
