I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
