Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
