I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Umm I'm too high to move.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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