What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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