does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
