What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
