The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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