I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I can't put those talents on a resume
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
