i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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