If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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