honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
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You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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