Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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