Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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