went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize