VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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