Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Enjoy the penises
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
