Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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