how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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