I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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