So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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