I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
