So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize