tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
