Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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