ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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