and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
