Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
