If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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