And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
