I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
At least life still wants to fuck me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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