I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
