whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize