I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize