I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
