Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize