You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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