Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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