no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
