SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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