if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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