actually, I'm a sock model
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It's shark week go big or go home
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize