just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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