Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
