Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize