I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
