I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize