One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
