i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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