you would pick up someone in the library
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize