I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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