I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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