you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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