there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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