he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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