Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
