tell your sister to shave her snatch
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
