Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize