I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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